Myth No. 7: Alawie is still a Religious Sect

It might be very surprising for many people to know that the Alawie (the sect that the ruling thugs belong to) is the most oppressed religion in Syria!! Of course in terms of ideology not in terms of the status of the people belonging to it.

"King Lion the 1st" long ago realized how much he relies on the support of his sect to stay in power, and realized who much dangerous would be to rely on something that can be easily manipulated such as religion. He then diverted this lurking danger to his rule by imposing an overwhelming Sunni-fication policy on the very Alawie sect that supported him. This extreme policy took the shape of so many aspects that everybody here knows very well:
Introducing only pure Sunni Islam education to all schools;
Banning any public manifestation or even mentioning of any Alawie religious activities;
Banning and oppressing any Alawie religious organizations or any formation of a unified religious council or a higher religious authority; Many were killed by the great gangster Duba for starting to utter such ideas among people in Tartous and Jableh;
Building Sunni-style mosques in every little Alawie village and encouraging people to perform the pilgrimage through public and private (his late brother's Hadjee Jameel) organizations;
Encouraging the Late Grand Mufti of Syria to brake down any attempt to present the Alawie religion as anything but a bad old mistake which people should renounce and forget.
Releasing the hands of the Sunni clerks to do whatever they whish regarding establishing a clear religious identity to all Sunni youth, and facilitating Sunni Islam educational and media sources (as long as it does not tackles politics and the King’s eternal right to his crown) while banning any sort of similar activities for Alawies and other minor sects. There are in Syria hundreds of Sunni religious schools while there is not a single school that is specialized in teaching not even the history of the Alawie sect.
etcetera etcetera...
"King Lion the 1st" managed even to convince many Alawies, especially young generations, that they are actually just Bad Muslims, someway or another.

"King Lion the 1st" and the rest of the gang around him knew well that this is not going to lead to any real results in term of unifying the Alawie sect with the main stream Sunni Islam. Everybody knows, especially those Alawies who tried very hard to integrate with their Sunni surroundings after moving to the main cities, that they will never be accepted by the Sunnis. There isn't a single Alawie house in Damascus without a story or two on failed experiences in... what you may name: go out of own skin attempts. Alawies are still bad Muslims, the mosques the government built are still deserted, and the number of Alawie-Sunni "mixed marriages" is even much lower than the number of the mixed marriages between Syrians and foreigners. Of course excluding the upper class mixed marriages, where the thugs marry into each other's families for the sole reason of solidifying their rule.

The Sunni-fication attempt did not work simply because it was not meant to work in the first place. While "King Lion the 1st" and his thugs were trumpeting this integration policy, they were at the same time systematically building a culture of separation and segregation between Alawies and Sunnis, and between all sects and ethnic and religious groups in Syria for that matter.
The real reason behind this policy was never integration with Sunnis or establishing an acceptance for the Alawies by the Sunnis. The real reason was to deprive the Alawies from any solid unified religious ideology that might one day pause a fatal danger on the rule of the King. To turn them into meaningless tribes ranked by how much they support the King.

Let Karfan explain this in his simple words: Imagine what the King's position would be if all the Alawies in the Republican Guard, Special Forces, and Security Services (all composed of 95%Up Alawies) told him to go fuck-him-self because an Alawie higher religious authority decided it is not in the sect's best interest to support him anymore? What exactly do you think this regime is hold together by? Baathis? That is the biggest joke that every five year old Syrians knows. Everybody here knows that these forces are the regime real power which prevents any opposition from even pondering on the idea of opposing publicly. The army in general has been long ago marginalized and made weak to have any real effect on the power balance. That was when many army units refused to carry out "King Lion the 1st" 's destruction plans against the Sunnis at the time when the regime and the Muslim Brothers were waging holly wars against each other. Many army officers who refused orders were fired and are still sitting in their houses doing nothing since. But that experience taught the King that he had better rely on very well organized, brain-washed, and loyal smaller units such as the infamous "Sarya Eldefaa" of his brother who eventually carried out the attacks on Hama. Since then, he learned how to balance these power tools by multiplying them into several separate entities: Republican Guard, Special Forces, and many strong Security Services Units. Those units are where the real military power of the regime exists.

Such essential power centers should be kept under the sole control of the King. That is why, unlike the Sunnis or Druuz or Smaeilis, the Alawies were doomed not have a religion in fear that this religion or whoever controls it might be in control of these essential power centers one day.
By erasing all sort of religious identity while making sure that Alawies will not find another one elsewhere, Alawies were simply transformed into a sort of tribes that are unified around one purpose: Keeping the King in Power. A couple of tribes that does not have any real religious conviction or ideology but are hold together by the fear of the others and the fear of revenge by the others for the regimes deeds. A sort of army units which sole purpose is to protect the leader, nothing else.

Meanwhile every one around them keep labeling the regime an "Alawie Regime" and keep throwing all the faults that this regime did on the Alawies shoulders. We will be doomed to carry the burden of the faults of the same people who destroyed our religion and destroyed any religious identity we might have had. The same people who instead of seizing the chance of being on top to establish a real secular society were all would be respected regardless of what they believe in, they encouraged Sunni extreme religious teachings and built a society were you have only two books to read: Ibn Taymeiya, or Michael Aflak.

After this systematic destruction of any unified religious authority, it seems unlikely that Alawies would bring themselves together to get rid of the gang ruling in their name and destroying the future of this country in their name. What makes it even more difficult is the accusations that the other sects keep building: An Alawie Regime, An Alawie Baath etc.. to the end of the list of everything bad+Alawie. Not a single opposition group had come forward to present a vision or an idea of what would be their stance on the thousands of Alawies serving in the Security Services and army. What should Alawies expect if they actually manage to realize that the ruling thugs are going to destroy what is left of the other's trust in them? No one is saying anything about that: Sunnis are vague or just silent at best, and that is what the King exactly whishes for. With no bright future, Alawies are just maintaining the present, no matter how bad it is.

The Alawie sect had suffered hundreds of years of oppression and negligence before, but the biggest harm to it came when one of it's own followers controlled the country! He succeeded in doing what long Sunni oppression and mighty Osman Emperors couldn't do over hundred of years: erasing the Aalwie religion and turning its followers into an identity-less supporters of his rule.

One day the King and his gang will go and he will join his uncle "White Knight of Tadmur" in France in his luxurious life style and white suits, like all ousted kings and rulers. And only the Alawie King Lion and his dynasty and thugs will remain in people's memory. People will forget all other great Alawies like Saad Allah Wannous and Nadeem Muhammad, and we will be responsible for all the backwardness of Syria and its society. Alawie will never have the right to build religious schools or demand a secular education, the majority would say: You didn't do that when you were in power, why should we do it for you now? And they will be damn right in saying that.

Alawie, as a religion or sect, no longer exists like all other sects in Syria. But Alawies have one thing in common: they are the ones who keep this regime alive. And according to Karfan there is another thing that is common between us, Alawies: We have no future, at least not one that is worth looking forward to.


Myth No.6: We have Diamond

The second vision for the future of Syria is that "King Lion the 2nd", after finishing his fictitious struggle with some fictitious so called old guard factions in his party, will eventually grace us with freedom and reform and will sail the Syrian ship towards the high-sea of advancement.

Karfan thinks that this vision is so pathetic it makes him vomit. More pathetic are the deluded pathetic people who believe in it.

Most people know the French "King Louis the 16th" whose head was chopped like a potato by the angry mob. Karfan has this theory that when this king's ancestors started their dynasty, they actually had names: the first King Louis and the second King Francois the third King Charles or something. After a while though, people noticed that there are no differences between those kings and stopped bothering giving them different names. They just gave them the name Louis and numbered them: King Louis the 3rd, the 4th and so on.

Now many people here in Syria and outside are chewing what the French people had spat; they are actually giving our kings names in hope that they are going to be different from one another. Karfan is smarter than everybody, he labeled our eternal Leader as "King Lion the 1st" way back when he was still secretly training his "Baby Lion the 1st" to take his place. In fact, karfan never called a single despot in what is so called Arab countries by their names. He figured out early that they are all the beginning of dynasties: "NeoPharon the 1st" of Egypt, "King Jerk the 1st" of Libya etc. In Syria, "Baby Lion the 1st" never made it though; he was murdered by careless Mercedes engineers who could not design a car that can turn a curve with a speed of 300Km/h. But since our Lord had ample reserve of cubs, he started preparing "Baby Lion the 2nd" who became our lord "King Lion the 2nd". Recently, postures have been circulated of one of this new King's babies who did not reach his ten years old with the word "The Hope" on it. That is the future "King Lion the 3rd". Our present leader himself didn't even bother giving his baby a different name, he named him after his father, the eternal Leader.

Among his many titles, such as the leader, the, liberator, the doctor etc, "King Lion the 2nd" has this reputation that makes Karfan go crazy every time it is said in front of him: Western Educated!!
Our lord keeps telling foreign newspapers that he can not do the promised reforms because the people here are basically dump and stupid he cannot find enough similar "western educated" snobs to carry out his vision. Karfan did not believe his eyes when he read one interview in which this snob of a king told the reporter that the people in Syria are corrupt and incapable. To have some crushed stupid citizen like Karfan vilifying his fellow crushed citizens is one thing, but to have our "ELECTED" (that was he said) leader vilify us is outrageous. Karfan swears at everybody, but he has the right to rant because he refuses to immigrate (nor outside, nor back to the village that his father came from) in hope that something might change eventually even when he is seventy years old. But if our leader thinks we are stupid, then why doesn't he go the hell back to the west that he was "educated" by?

Everybody here knows the period that "Baby Lion the 2nd" spent in the West is less than two years, some 22 months or so. Karfan spent more than tow years trying to understand one book from that western education written by Nietzsche. So karfan, although self-admitting his limited mental capabilities, is wondering how is it possible for one person to spend 22 months in the west and be full-roundly "Western Educated", especially when that person had been living here under the direct Lion-ism Educational Instructions and Teachings of his father for the other 32 years of his life. Obviously, our leader went there and learned, in addition to his medical education, all about western philosophy, election systems, democratic processes, industrial promotion, administration systems, secular governing, financial management, and spaceship building, all in 22months. But the only reason he cannot carry out his plans to make Syria beat Sweden with advancement is the stupid dump people around him here who could not have a similar "western education". Yeih?

One relative of karfan's friend was an officer under "Baby Lion the 2nd" back in the days when he was ruling over one regiment of what his father made into El-Harass El-Alawie (Republican Guard made into 100% deluded Alawie poor villagers). This guy said that most soldiers and officers disliked him and were all yearning for the days of his brother "Baby Lion the 1st". "Baby Lion the 1st" was actually never popular among normal people such as "baby Lion the 2nd", but Karfan figured out that if someone can not win the respect of his own direct subordinates, then he is not worthy of Karfan's interest altogether, even though many people are fooled with him being a computer-geek and all.

Another word that kills Karfan when he listens to is "Khitab El-Kassam" (Inauguration Speech). This word became a new vocabulary by itself together with other newly invented meaningless vocabularies such as Islah Wa Tatweer (Reform and Development) etc. Karfan, until this very moment, has never heard or read or know a single word of what "King Lion the 2nd" said in that speech. But what kills Karfan the most is stupid people who are referring to that speech like it was a Testament from heaven and building their dreams and hopes around it. Obviously, they have never known the Diamond story.

Back during the gloomy years of the second half of the eighties, our Eternal Leader "King Lion the 1st" made a speech in which he said that Syria has discovered diamond mines in the north-western area near Idleb city. He said literally that soon enough we might be even richer than our cousins the Saudis. Karfan, who was listening attentively to this great news, was full of joy and started jumping around like a monkey who found a big banana. (I also remember this speech, for those of you who don’t believe, you can get ample references in Syria to every single word our Eternal Leader has ever uttered in his life, since all his speeches are better documented than even the teaching of the prophet himself). Karfan and his fellow friends who listened to this speech started immediately planning their fancy homes and trips to Europe when they will become reach like the Saudis. But after that speech, there was not even a word about the diamond!! Every time someone asked, the government shooed them away with some excuse or another. Eventually it turned out to be a big LIE! Apparently, according to an engineer close to karfan, they suspected something when they were digging some hole there, and someone came up with the brilliant idea that this might be a diamond mine. Yet, our Eternal Leader never bothered to tell us the 99% uncertainty of this sorrowful event, and decided to just lie and let us live with dreams of fancy houses and trips to Europe. After giving up on waiting for the diamond, Karfan decided that he will never ever listen to a single speech by a King. He invented the Daloona Reciting Technique to space out whenever he was forced to hear a speech, or avoided it all together when he could.

Back to the French "King Louis the 16th". It took 16 King Louis for the usually-clever French people to realize that these kings will not get any different from one another. Karfan is wondering how many Kings it would take for the dumb-ass Syrians who still repeat Khitabb El-Kassam (the inauguration Speech) to reach the same conclusion, maybe till the King 28th?

Till then.. They can wait for the diamond.


Myth No.5: We will slaughter each other

When it comes to the future of Syria, there are two and only two visions circulating between people and analysts whether here or outside. We will talk about the second one in the next post. (If we are still free then)

The first glorious vision for this country is that by external banging (aka American army), or internal explosion we are going to fall into chaos and civil war and start slaughtering each other similarly to what happened in Yugoslavia and elsewhere. Of course on a much bigger scale since we beat anyone else with the number of sects and stray groups that live on this land. The fear of civil war is so indigenous to our heads it makes many people scared of even mentioning any topic that they think it touches our sacred presumed unity. To the extent that many comments were left here accusing us of being cowards and stirring trouble by ranting the way we do. One genius even suggested that we will lead the country into civil war if people start talking like us. When I told Karfan about that, he threw me out of the door and chouted: go back right away and write this apology:

Karfan does not think we will ever fall into a civil war, but if it happen, then he personally apologizes in advance because the reason for that upcoming civil war will not be the hatred and distrust we feed our children with towards other sects and groups, it will not be the disrespect and humiliation we have been taught and treated with by our governments, it will not be the shitty internal and external situation that our great successive leaders led us into since independence, it will not be the long years of segregation and negligence of many groups and sects away from the main cities, it will not be the history of sectarian and religious trouble we had since the books can remember, hell it will not even be the Zionist-Imperialist-Neoconservative conspiracy this time! It is going to be the sole fault of the miserable Karfan and his blog-writing friend!!! Go bang your heads into the nearest wall if you don't like what we write, said Karfan.

That is what our great leaders have been drumming up our heads with since birth: "How to self-believe and be self-convinced that living like a silent sheep is actually better for you". They have invented this civil-war fear and "national-unity preservation" bullshit so that no one would think of opening their mouth. We are not allowed to talk about anything that is considered controversial in our society. With a fucked-up society as the one we have, this leaves us few topics to speak about, and that is exactly what most of us speak about usually: girls talk about cooking, and guys about masturbation.

What is wrong with ranting and complaining about something different? Or is it only alright if we complain about our TV not being like the Lebanese one or about the expensive prices of cars, or about the bad taste of rice these days? Nine hundred years of living next to each other and still all what we know about each other is a bunch of lies that are regurgitated from generation to generation. We have a great unofficial and official policy of uprooting sectarianism and tribalism: Ignoring their existence!! Well, they are not going to go away by just shutting the fuck up. How can we uproot something without knowing what the heck it is in the first place? Most of the rest of us know about Martians more than they know about Kurds or Druuz who have been living here for thousands of years. What is wrong about complaining that our fathers "failed generation" spent sixty years loosing their Don Kichotian wars and chasing dreams while forgetting to make us know each other better and build us a solid identity?

Karfan wisdom is: The first step in fixing something is BITCHING about it!!
Knowing and exposing the problem is half the solution. Ignoring it or pondering silently about it, will only leads to what we all saw happened in Kameshli city couple of months ago. We think that we can not bitch about anything serious or even mention anything serious because we might stir the sleeping monster of civil war and social trouble. That is what we have been conditioned to believe, especially when it comes to the main issue of Alawi-Sunni question.

This is Karfan's idiotic interpretation of the events: When our Eternal Leader "King Lion the 1st" was growing up he probably believed that he could get his ass on top of the presidency chair with the help of his Baathi friends and followers. But soon after he realized that not enough people are buying the bullshit of Baathism, he turned into finding a bigger pool of followers: his sect the Alawis. Our fathers then found this as a chance to get rid of their seven hundred years of segregation and being treated like semi-human beings, and they helped him up. Soon after, they noticed that instead of building a real secular civil society in which they and other minorities can guarantee being treated equally by our Sunni big-brothers, he and the gang around him were more concerned in building their own bank-accounts and influence. When he noticed that he is risking that many Alawis are starting not to buy his bullshit, then he resolved into convincing them that if they do not side by him, their historical depressors, the Sunnis, will kick their asses back to the top of the cruel mountains they once came from. The stupid Muslim-Brother gang helped him in his mission by hunting down every single poor Alawi they could get their hand on. The "White Knight of Tadmur" helped even more by doing the same to the Sunnis. ("King Lion the 1st" 's brother: White: because he always wore a white stupid tuxedo suit since he was kicked out of the country, Tadmur=Palmera is where the Tadmur-Prison, famous for the dirtiest torture techniques, once was located. That is where he, one day, felt so merciful and decided to relief some thousand prisoners from the torture agony: by executing them).

Generations from each group grew up convinced that the others hate them and want to feast on their blood at the next chance they might get. And of course our Eternal Leader and his gang lived happily in the meanwhile.

When the death of our Eternal Leader was announced, Karfan and many of his deluded Alawi friends in Damascus did not go to work in fear that their Sunni coworkers would jump on them and beat the shit out of their living soles. That is what we have been told, that they will slaughter us or beat us and kick us back to the mountains. So Karfan took the sharpest kitchen knife and barricaded in his dirty little illegal half-built house on top of one damascene hill. But nothing happened!! No angry Sunni crowd, no beating, and no one was asked to go back to the mountains. It was all a lie! But hadn't we all, from all sects and groups, believed this lie, the chances of "King Lion the 2nd" to be the next king of Syria would have been less than the chances of Karfan becoming the king of Luxemburg. We were so full of this civil war fear shit that everybody shut up and listened and clapped to his caricatural Inauguration Speech!

Let us rant, what is your problem? If you do not like our fucked-up opinions then write down yours and let us read it. When we learn never to distrust the other no matter how much we do not like their opinions, we will never have civil wars. We will only have a civil war and social unrest if, and only if, we convince ourselves that we are going to have one. Shutting the fuck up will not save us from civil wars and ranting and bitching will not start ones.

On a different note, Karfan believes that all people here are also so Karfaneh (disgusted) of doing anything, to the extent that they will not even start a civil war. It is a good thing to be that disgusted, after all.


Myth No.4: We are Not Pathetic

All of us are pathetic. If you want a prove that not only the two of us are pathetic, then have a look at some of the comments left to our posts. Vulgarity is how Syrians respond to others expressing their feelings. Most people here react the same anyway when anyone around them starts speaking about the existing truth that no one is permitted to voice. They think that by just ignoring how much we are miserable and distrust each other, all would be fine.

Of course we are pathetic, and so is every single person lives here. What exactly do you expect us to be after 16 years of the worst education on earth, 3 years of being treated like shoe-soles in army, 12 years living in slums, and 40 years of Bil-Rooh-Bil-Damm Nafdeek Ya ... whoever? Eih? Do you expect us to develop liking to fine art and symphonies, or “grow above our feelings” and “smile to the future”?

But for those people angry at us we would like to say that they don't have to worry much about the continuity of our humble contribution to “The Anti-Arab Zionist-Imperialistic Crusaders Campaign” (the usual name for anything that is not to the liking of our Lords and Clerics and the idiots who believe them). Karfan and I are sure that despite the fact that I am posting from a nearby country, which I happen to visit very frequently, the geniuses of the uncountable mukhabarat organs of our lord "King Lion the 2nd" will sooner or later track me down. Karfan made me promise not to confess his name if that happen until after the fifth slap on the face in respect to our friendship. After which, we will be both thrown into jail and this outrageous scandalous site would be shut down. Only then, all would be fine and happy again and Syrians angry with us should be relieved that our society would go back to its solidarity and unison.

Since we will end up there for sure, we take this opportunity to deeply appreciate the incredible improvement in prison conditions under the rule of "King Lion the 2nd" in comparison to the days of our "Eternal Leader King Lion the 1st". Apparently the prisons were fully refurbished so much to the extent that they were compared to Five Star Hotels by a past prominent comrade who had the privilege of visiting the prisons in both prosperous eras. What this left-over-comrade forgot to notice is that at the time when our new ruler was improving the Inside-Of-Prisons, Out-Of-Prison conditions have been deteriorated and became below those of prisons. Under the rule of his father the Eternal Leader, we could steal electricity and water to our heart content to compensate the dirt semi-salaries we used to be given. Now we are blessed with “Law Rule” like all advanced nations. We are supposed to be lawful citizens and pay for every bloody service that "King Lion the 2nd" and his gang in ministries and private enterprises bless us with while still getting dirt semi-salaries. So actually, we will be more than happy to leave the barn-like slum we live in and have a five star hotel accommodation since Karfan and I never sat foot in such hotels before. We appreciate if our comrade instruct us whether towels are provided or should we take ours with us?

By the way, karfan do not like this out-dated comrade who mentioned the five star hotels story. The reason being that the sister of Karfan's best friend and her fiancee were deceived by this man's ideas and joined his infamous organization few months before their marriage. They were too stupid thinking that being Alawis, the same sect of our Eternal Leader, would give them the right to use their heads and actually think for themselves. Two months after their marriage, the geniuses of the mukhabarat noticed that, because of their political activity, the couple did not have the chance to have a honeymoon and invited them to spend a free-of-charge extended honeymoon at a Two Star Hotel in the basement of one branch. The honeymoon went on for fifteen years! Yes, 15 ys. During which, and out of our leaders concerns of preserving the conservatism and morals of our Syrian society, they were put in separate cells. Logically of course, Karfan and his friend always blamed and cursed the out-dated comrade for this incidence not our Eternal Leader whose name cannot be defiled. The couple ended their 15 ys shittymoon, managed to find a half-built room in a slum near Damascus and are living happily ever after. And you think we are not pathetic?

The other day, Karfan was asked by the establishment he works for to “voluntarily” join a support demonstration outside the Syrian Parliament while "King Lion the 2nd" was supposed to give a very important speech. Only Karfan signed in voluntarily; the rest were taken there anyway. Karfan wanted to go so that he would avoid listening to the speech, because all people and employees were supposed to be mesmerized behind their TVs or radios and listen to it. Karfan prides himself that he never listened to, or read, a single word of any of the speeches that our lord "King Lion the 2nd" blessed us with. At the gathering outside the parliament, Karfan spaced out as he usually does in such important occasions trying to recite the full long series of Aassi Al-Hellani's Aala Daloona in his head. This way, he does not have to pay attention to anything said there or to speeches, he only would raise his hand when others raise it and move his mouth in what resembles: Bil Rooh Bil Damm Nafdeek Ya... while actually he is still reciting Daloona in his head. The shouting of the others always covers his muteness.

After this voluntarily patriotic contribution was over, Karfan was told the next day that "King Lion the 2nd" announced that our troops will be withdrawn from Lebanon. Karfan and his coworkers and others who were there together with the pathetic representatives of the pathetic Syrian people had shouted Bil Rooh Bil Damm Nafdeek Ya... for that decision of course. Had "King Lion the 2nd" announced that our troops will stay in Lebanon, Karfan and al. would have of course shouted Bil Rooh Bil Damm Nafdeek Ya... Had "King Lion the 2nd" announced that we will declare war on America and invade Washington DC, Karfan and al. would have of course shouted Bil Rooh Bil Damm Nafdeek Ya... Had "King Lion the 2nd" decided not to utter a single word and just stand there and chant Aala Daloona, Karfan and al. would have of course shouted Bil Rooh Bil Damm Nafdeek Ya... And you think we are not pathetic?

As Karfan puts it: we have a certified license to prove that we are pathetic, it is called the “Citizen ID” of Syrian Arab Republic.


Myth No.3: We believe in Arabism

Recently, scores of analysts all around the world are coming up with this big revelation: Arabism is Dying in Syria. How clever is that!! When the heck Arabism was alive in the first place for it to die? In the fifties or sixties, maybe, but we were lucky not to live in that miserable era of Big-looser Nasser and Associates. We, the Happy Generations of Syria who were borne after the Happy Revolution of 1963, never knew Arabism except in books, and we knew these are as bullshit as extraterrestrial creatures books. Political analysts and journalists need a story though, and if there is no one, they will invent one. The identity of Nothingness, (apology to Nietzsche and ZEN), which is exactly what most of us Syrians have, won't make a good story and won't sell books and articles. The Fall of Arabism on the other hand would. That is why you have scores of writings and blogs about the: taaadaa: Dying of Arabism.

Karfan is convinced that all those geniuses preaching about the Dying of Arabism in Syria, obviously never lived in Syria. Or as he puts it, never took a stinky microbus from a stinky half-built-house in Eishh Elwarar (an area that is the perfectly precise opposite to Beverly Hills) to a stinky governemental Istehlakya (An ingeniously screwed-up Syrian version of supermarkets) and wait for an hour to get a stinky 2kg of rice from a stinky employer yelling in your face. Now, only then tell me if they can find a trace of Arabism in people. They assumed that there was Arabism and they are making a living out of writing bullshit on how it is dying. In light of the absence of the above-mentioned inspirational experience, they base their wicked revelation on two wicked sources:
1. The writings of some Syrian geniuses intellectuals from the "Failure Generation", that is our fathers'. Those people want to give meaning to their failed lives in which they could not achieve what others achieved in even Burkina Faso, not mentioning Asia and elsewhere, so they write bullshit saying that they ""succeeded"" in: Leaving us the Legacy of Arabism. Yes in deed, they have left us that in books; we have tons of those for lucky falafel makers to wrap their sandwiches.
2. The interviewing of people in the streets by journalists and academics, which goes like this:
Happy western journalist: What identity do you believe in?
Miserable broken Syrian: I believe in Arabic identity. Oh, and by the way, we ALL love our president.
What on earth do you expect us to say we believe in?

"Kurds in Syria are joining the Baath party": what does Happy western academic 1 make of that? That Arabism is sooo convincing it would make people change their skin and blood.
"Kurds in Syria are revolting": what does Happy western academic 2 make of that? That Arabism is dying.

Karfan never met a single so called "Arab" that has a sense of unity or brotherhood with any other inhabitant of the other so called "Arab Countries". People who really want to fight Israelis are driven by religious animosity toward Jews not by Arabic enthusiasm. People who really want to unite with Gulf countries are driven by the wealth they think they can share not by Arabic enthusiasm. Didn't Iraqi soldiers killed and raped Kuwaiti men and women while still ""saying"" that they were serving the glorious dream of Arabic Unification?. Still, Happy western journalists and academics ignored the deeds, looked at the words, and interpreted that Kuwaiti Fiesta as a product of Arabism. But wait, good news is coming: Arabism is now dying.
Who said that only Hollywood makes stories out of nothing?

It is true that we have been drummed up day and night continuously with Arabism bullshit, but the only successful result of this policy is that we became conditioned to speak about it. We are Arabs, we love Arabs, Arab World, Urubaa, Blablabla, Just wards! In reality, a person from Tunisia might as well be from Honolulu and it wouldn't make a damn difference for us. Syrians will tell you that they are Arab because:
1. It is the only thing we were taught to say we are. What else is to say? We never been taught or allowed to learn anything else, we never knew any other vocabularies to say.
2. It is the only thing we were allowed to say. We all know that we are just Sunnis, Alawis, Murshdees, Druuz, etc to the end of the glorious list, but we are not allowed to utter that. It is the existing truth that no one is permitted to voice.
We were not even taught or allowed to say that we are Syrians, as this would be considered a deviation from the Holy Message of our Holy Arab Homeland-to-come. Only recently under the rule of "King Lion the 2nd", God Bless His Dynasty, people were allowed to say that they are Syrians without being accused and punished as Iqlimees (regionalists: One of the many ingenious swear words invented by the Failure Generation)!!

This Arabism might have had its glorious days back at the time of the big idiot Shareef Hussein and his clueless sons, or back in the days of Naser Don Kichote, maybe. But for us, the Happy Generations of Syria who were borne after the Happy Revolution of 1963, it existed in words in books and is now dying in blogs. Poor Arabism!

Myth No.2: We have an Identity

Not a single person below 40 years old who lives in Syria has a national identity of whatever sort!! Maybe our loosers fathers who invented the Arab Identity that we have been hammered with all our lives pretended to believe in it, but we never did, we never even bothered to pretend. WE, here, means the vast majority of the generations of Syria who were borne after the Happy Revolution in 1963. That is what they call it: A Revolution. Karfan always thought when he was growing up that "The Revolution of 8th of March" was something like the French Revolution, where masses of poor people rose against the awful King. Only later in his youth, he learned that there was no king and no masses; just a group of gangster army officers who forcefully stole the lead from a group of gangster entrepreneurs.

Karfan never met a single young Syrian who actually believed in Arabism, in term of believing that we should respect other citizens from what is called Arab World just for the sake that they are Arabs. People who live in Syria never respected each other to begin with for them to respect outsiders. We have been conditioned to say that we want to be united with Arab countries in the Gulf, but call Gulf Arabs Dickheads and have the lowest esteem towards them. We have been conditioned to say that we want to liberate Palestine, but call Palestinians Manayek (Assholes) and treat them badly in Syria most of the time or corner them in dirty areas and speak behind their back as if they are invaders from another planets. Ever visited the Palestinian Camp in Latakia or Aleppo? Go and see that environment that is not suitable for even barn animals.
Karfan is an Alawi, but an ignorant one. Up until the end of high school, Karfan was a geek who never really knew what the hell is going around him. That is why Karfan's best friend at high school in Damascus was a Sunni Damascene geek, who also did not know what the hell is going around him. When at university, Karfan tried to hang out with the only person he knew from before, a Christian friend from Tartous. But this did not go beyond the first couple of months. Karfan soon noticed a definite pattern of friendship groups' formation taking shape around him: Alawis, Sunnis from Daraa, Druuz from Sueida, Sunnis from Damascus, Christians. Students from each group would only hang out with each other and rarely have anything to do with the others besides formality greetings. Soon after, he learned that this pattern is actually a mere reflection of the society in whole.

We live all our lives with sub-national identities that range across the spectrum of whatever religions, sects, tribes, and gangs that existed in that land. All real-believer Sunnis have an Islamic Identity that does not have the "Syria" word in it and only has the "Arab" word in it as long as that Arab = Sunni. All real-believer Christians, Alawis, Smaeelis, or Murshdis have a Christian, Alawi, Smaeeli, or Murshdi identities, whatever the heck is that. Kurds, Druuz, Bedouins, and all other weirdo groups in this land have their own identities. All the rest, that is non-real-believers of all the above, have absolutely no sense of identity that exceeds the sense of identity of bears. You want a proof: go ask any embassy of first-world countries in Damascus how many immigration applications they have. Actually, Karfan thinks he owes bears an apology, they do have more sense of identity since they usually don't try to get out of their area nor out of their fur as we try to do.


Myth No. 1: We Belong

Welcome to the most recently formed country in the world: Syria!! All of a sudden, all over the news you hear people saying: We Syrians, The Syrians!! Karfan woke up one morning and asked him self: When the heck exactely did we become "Syrians"?

Karfan lived in cities called Tartous and Damascus, and he was told that these are just cities in a place called Watan Arabi (Arabic Homeland). Besides this fictitious homeland, he never knew what else actually joins these cities except the bumpy roads between them. He could see this Watan Arabi on all the maps around him, but never gone to any of the other places that consist this vast land. He was not allowed to go to cities in Jordan or Egypt because he was told they were traitors. He was not allowed to go to cities in Lebanon because he was told there was a war with the enemies. He was not allowed to go to cities in Iraq because his passport bears the seal (Valid to all countries except Iraq!!). Eventually, these "Arab" places became to him, and his generation, as Djibouti and Salvador, mere names.

He lived within people who were called Sunnis, Alawis, Druuz, Christians, Smaeelis, Kurds, Palestinians, Mad'umeen (the favored ones), Mas'uleen (high governmental people), Bathists, Shwam (Damascenes), Shawaya (bedouins), Numailatieh, Haddadeen, Khayateen (the last three are Alwai tribes), Umalaa (traitors), Sheu'ieen (communists) , Mukhabarat (secret agents), Manayek (dickheads), Kharawat (assholes), etc. That is how we call each other, but in school books, we were told that we are Arabs. Except this fictitious categorization, Karfan never knew what else actually joins these people, but they were there around him and he could easily tell who is who and what to call them.

Usually in Syria people ask you "where are you from?" just to figure out whether you are Sunni, Alawi, Durzi, Smaeeli, and whether you are Kurdi or Christian. Tartous, the city where Karfan comes from, has a population of both Sunnis and Alawis. You will be immediately asked in such situation: "where from in Tartous?" Karfan used to play around with people by saying a fictitious name of an area that does not exist and watch his asker straining themselves to find out whether it is in the Alawi or the Sunni side by inquiring where exactly is this area and whether it is in the City (Sunni) or the outskirt (Alawi). But the game of "where are you from?" was mastered by all Syrians; it is an essential skill for living here.

Once Karfan traveled outside to a far away place and there he was asked a shocking question: Were are you from, what is your country? He knew that these people were not interested in finding out that he is an Alawi or a Shawi. He was used to fill-in the Nationality Item on applications because he was told that this corresponds to the name on his passport: Syrian Arab Republic, None of the past three words ever made sence to him or anyone in his generation really. But he never encountered the question: What is your country?
Around him, people answered enthusiastically: I am from Canada, I am from Indonesia, I am from Cuba, I am from The States, from Japan, from Korea. So he figured out that he should answer: mm,well, I guess I am from... Syria.

This verbal "obligation" is beginning to be a virtual-reality in the minds of so many people outside and inside. They actualy started to think that they are "Syrians" and were since ever. Hei, when did that happen? What is a Syrian? What is Syria? The people around Karfan are still just Sunnis, Alawis,... Mas'uleen, ...and Kharawat, they still call them selves like that and nothing has changed despite this New Invented Identity! It is alright to want to be something, but it is another story when you lie to your self that you are already that something. Karfan also was jealous of all those people he met outside telling him proudly where are they from, and he, like many, wants to belong to somewhere as well: say, Syria. This might be what we want; we don't have it yet, we never did, yet many are talking about that as if we actually had a Syrian national identity that preceded even that of the French or Japanese!! Some are saying that we had it since the stone ages. Karfan is still asking: When exactely the heck in the past history did we become "Syrians"? I must have been sleeping then.


This is a place for all the dirty laundry of Syria. The real Syria away from Academics, Journalists, and Intellectuals jabbering about Bathism, Arabism, Totalitarianism, and all the big talk that they invented just to give credibility to analyses and meaning to events. In day-to-day life, there is no Arabism, there is no Bathism, there is not even a Syria as they are displayed in all the writings around this world.

This blog is by Karfan, whose name means disgusted. Generaly disgusted with life and everything in it. Recently, disgusted with all those who are trying to make a living from giving false and fictitious analyses about Syria and with those who believe them.

I am his freind, I write Karfan's bullshit in English because he thinks that anyone who lives in Syria knows about this bullshit and there is no need to put it for them in Arabic.

Karfan says that this blog is about the reality of Syria from within for those of us who forgot this reality and believed recently a big lie: that we actually have a normal country.