Myth No.13: Baby Lion The 2nd Will Get The Jolan Back

No it is not a spelling mistake of Golan. Karfan is sick and tired of us being retarded and blind followers of others even when it comes to our names. It is Jolan with a JJJJJ, even if that means changing every single geography book in this whole arrogant world.
So now, after achieving his big political, managerial, industrial, educational, infra-structural reforms, there is nothing left to do for our great leader King Lion the 2nd except librating the Jolan! He came out two days ago in his fiery speech declaring the beginning of his “resistance culture era” that will get the Jolan back. His joke party even established a liberation organization and people are all exited and started packing there suitcases for their next vacation on Tabarya’s shores.
Karfan advices them to wait first couple of days since our great leader might change his mind about the matter similarly to what he did regarding other things he said during that speech. He called his co-thieves, the other so-called Arab leaders, Half-Men. Karfan thought that was amusing and considered that phrase the single and one-and-only correct thing that our leader King Lion the 2nd had ever uttered in his entire life. It reminded Karfan of the great description to those leaders endowed on them by the great Syrian poet Nadeem Muhammad when he said in one of his poems about the Arab leaders:
You all sons of bitches, I exclude none
And asked to exclude Assad, I said I exclude none
Unfortunately Karfan’s amusement lasted very short, as one of our King’s puppet ministers came out yesterday apologizing and saying that King Lion the 2nd did not mean his brothers the leaders, rather, GET THIS, he meant some Syrians in and outside Syria!!! Ooh god bless your soul Nadeem Muhammad, the half-rabbit son of a bitch, is apologizing to a group of murders, shoe-licking half-pigs thieves and instead insulting US saying that he meant some of us by half-men. His own Syrian people!!
When Karfan heard that, he blasted in an extraordinary rage and anger state I have rarely ever seeing him in. He started yelling and shouting and cursing at our King and his minister with all his might. He did not leave a single cursing word in the Modern Syrian-Lebanese Cursing Dictionary, which, to readers who are not familiar with, contains couple of the most if not the absolute most blaspheming curse phrases that have ever been conceived by human beings. Really, how many languages on earth have a sentence were the god and religion, the vagina of the mother and sister of the cursed, the penises of mule and donkey, and couple of other animals, are all joined in one single sentence in the most insulting way that can be thought of?
Whoever is waiting for this half-king to get back even a half-meter of the Jolan, then you will have to wait earth-half-age time for that to come true.

First, here is Karfan’s historical take on the Jolan issue for those who do not know the full story.
Jolan is the part of Syria that our fathers’ failed-generation lost to Israel in one of their most marvelous achievements that they have ever done: a ridicule called The War of Six Days of 1967. We have learned to call that war: Naksa; meaning The Relapse, a relapse after the first catastrophical Arab-Israeli war in the forties. As Karfan always like to point out: Two major sorrow events befell on earth that 1967 year: We lost Jolan, and… I, Karfan, was born.

What happened is that Naser Don Kichote and his underlings all over the Arab world repeated what their looser predecessors did in the year 1948. They started barking as loud as they can about how they are going to kick all Israelis in the sea and liberate every inch of Palestine. Naser Don Kichote was so pumped up after living 16 years as a King and conquering the French and Brits in Sweiss Canal (thanks to the USA), that he thought he could invade Rome if he wanted. The Israeli started a preemptive strike. That was way long before pig Cheney of the United Crusaders of America patented that concept to himself.
What happened thereafter on the ground did not match at all the heroic speeches that Naser was banging people’s head with. Karfan’s father has the dishonor of serving in the Syrian army during that great ridicule. That army was under the leadership of NONE BUT the great King Lion the 1st who was a defense minister back then before he Kingisized himself. According to Karfan’s father, and to everyone else in the world for that matter, the Syrian eager enthusiastic soldiers started running the moment they heard the first bullet, only not in the direction they r supposed to run in. They left all their equipment and arms and ran towards Damascus away for their life.

The fact is, Karfan never blamed his father and his brave marathon-runner colleagues for this grand act of chicken-ness. Karfan would have done the same: the weapons were scrap and the leadership was crap. Who on earth wants to fight using dysfunctional arms, under dysfunctional leadership, for a dysfunctional objective such as throwing three million human being in the sea?
And while Naser Don Kichote was fighting his windmills behind the microphones, we lost the Jolan and tens of thousands of Jolani Syrian people were kicked out of their land. You see, Israelis have a more “humane” way of kicking out people from their land: instead of the sea proposed by Naser for them, Israelis just terrorize and kick people out to the neighboring land every time they occupy a piece of it! How blessed we are. Oo Tarek Bin Zyad, I which you were there: the enemy is in front, the enemy is in the back, the enemy is above! Would you fight Tarek Bin Zyad? Karfan doesn’t think so, he would have run for his life as Karfan’s father did.

What bugs Karfan though, is that his father and many of his brave colleagues sincerely believed that they ratified their humiliation in the Six Days War by “”winning”” the next great ridicule; October War in 1973! That is what they kept and keep telling us to this very moment: We won!!! We won: no one exactly has the slightest idea what the fuck did we win? Among the 70km that King Lion the 1st and his army lost in the 1967 war, they retrieved 70m of it, and guess what: by negotiation through the UN. Some people are so irritating they keep saying that we won back our dignity and self-assurance. Win BACK dignity!! Karfan wonders: 400 years of Othman humiliation, 30 years of French and British humiliation, 50 years of Tyrants like Husni Zaeem, Naser Don Khichote and King Lion the 1st and their secret services humiliation, 50 years under Israelis and whoever-in-the-world-feels-like-slapping-us-in-the-face humiliation.... When the fuck did had we ever given dignity and self-fucking-assurance to begin with? Win back my ass.

There used to be a story widely circulated among the heroes who took back those 70m. Everyone of our father’s generation who was ever called to conscription during the October War, talked hours and hours how they advanced so deep into the Israeli lines that they actually drank from the Tabarya lake water at one point of the war!
So if you ever wondered why on hell, with such brave soldiers, the Israeli army actually ended up just few kilometers from the outskirt of Damascus, here is the answer: every one in the Syrian army was too fucking busy drinking from that Tabarya lake!! If it weren’t for Russia threatening to nuke the hell of them in case they do not stop, Israelis would have done to Damascus what they did to Beirut nine years later.
Twenty years later, one of those moony nights, Karfan’s father thought that he was revealing the secret of the universe when he admitted to Karfan that this Tabarya lake episode is an exaggeration; no Syrian unit ever came even close to see it clearly in the binoculars. Karfan did not bother to tell his father that he has never believed this story to begin with. The fact is, Karfan never actually believed anything that anyone of our father’s failed-generation ever told him even if it was about the sky being blue.

Many many years later in the nineties, King Lion the 1st decided to talk with Israelis and accepted to start piece negotiations. Syrians, the people concerned, never knew any of those talks’ details until much later when the satellite-dish culture spread on our roofs like moss and spelled the secrets all out. The Jolanis came very close to go back to their land and have their own houses and dignified life.
We heard that the piece talks crumbled down because the Israeli refused to give back the shores of that Tabarya lake. King Lion the 1st proudly refused that offer and made himself a hero who never gives up his citizens’ land. He claimed that he used to wash his feet in that lake when he was a young officer, and that he refused any solution that does not give back the lake to wash his stinky feet. Karfan always thought of this as a deliberate message to the Syrian army soldiers who claimed that they drank from Tabaraya lake at one point in the October War. The message of King Lion the 1st was: My beloved army, you stupid morons, you were drinking from where I used to wash my feet! King Lion the 1st never missed an opportunity to humiliate his subjects for sure.

Regardless if the Israelis were actually serious in given anything at all, it is sad that the poor Jolanis never knew anything about the whole process, no one asked them what they think and what would be their opinion. Instead of having a referendum to know what offer the Syrian people are willing to accept and give in return, or at least a limited referendum among the Jolani refugees, King Lion the 1st entrusted the whole future of those miserable people and the whole future of this miserable country to his unquestionable wisdom. After all, the only referendums allowed in this country are the ones that we have to say Yes for renewing the Kings and their babies eternal years in ruling.
Karfan always wondered what people would have said if they had the chance of choosing? Maybe even if we chose to say No, at least that would have scared the Israeli when seeing that the whole country will never give up their right. Maybe it would have scared them knowing that they are negotiating 20million human being not merely one maniac king with stinky feet and a crappy government.

Years go-by after that ridicule of a war and none of the Syrian Jolani who were kicked out of the Jolan ever came near to go back. They were called Nazeheen (meaning refugees), and bit by bit, as hope faded away in front of their eyes more and more every year, they started turning their dirty tents into badly constructed rough-looking scum houses in the outskirt of Damascus.
They were always called Nazeheen and they were treated as second class citizens just because they were poor and live in scum houses. Even when the second generation was borne after the 1967: the generation of Karfan, people kept calling them Nazeheen and kept treating them like crap.
If we really had dignity, those people should be treated super-class citizens, it is the rest of us who betrayed them. Our stupid leadership dragged them to this destiny with its uncalculated policies and the rest of their Syrian brothers ran away in front of the Israeli army who came to occupy their land. If we really had dignity, we should be apologetic to them. But that it is exactly why King Lion the 2nd, or any other king like him, will never get the Jolan back: they never can understand the real problem at stake here: it is humans not land.

Karfan had a friend from Jolan’s refugees, an engineer at the same department at the establishment where he works. He lived in Nazeheen’s slums near the airport road and was poor. He was sick of waiting, sick of the miss-treatment, sick of poverty, and sick of hope. Three years ago he joined the queues outside the Canadian Embassy and applied for immigration. Last year, he had the visa. When he was ready to leave, every body in the office was so happy for him; they brought cake and cola, and… celebrated. They were saying Mabrouk (congratulation), and admiring his luck, they were saying that they envy him. Karfan, was his closest friend at the office, yet, he was the only one who did not participate in those miserable celebrations. Karfan sat there looking at him surrounded by this festive. At one point he caught his eyes. Karfan says that he saw no tears on his cheeks but swears that he could see him crying like he lost his heart. Karfan knew why he was sad. The Jolani engineer never saw Jolan as he was borne a year after Karfan, but used to show Karfan old rusty pictures that his father took back in Jolan. He used to talk about it like he has lived all his life there, he was so sure he will go back, he even never married saying that his marriage ceremony will be held in his small village there. Karfan does not know how much this Canada place is beautiful, but it cannot be more beautiful than his friend’s land. Karfan does not know what dreams one can realize in this Canada place, but they cannot be more wonderful than his friend’s little dreams at his little village.
He obviously gave up on those dreams. And, the catastrophe is that we were celebrating!
A year past, and now some of the same people at the office are existed that King Lion the 2nd is going to return the Jolan. They don’t get it, do they, said Karfan.

What is the use of a land without people? how do we have a right to it without people? Why did we loose every tiny little chance to ever even dream of getting back Iskandaroon from Turkey? Because Iskandaroonis will never want to go back to us. Go back to us for what? To take part in the queues we make on the doors of the Canadian Embassy to immigrate, and the Saudi Embassy to work? They are Alawees and are not allowed to rule in turkey, but they detest their brothers’ rule in Syria. They had their share of mistreatment and dislocation by Turks in the past, but at present, they are treated well like honorable human beings in Turkey. Leave aside Turkish opposition to any Syrian claims of Iskandaroon, unless Iskandaroonis themselves want their land to return back to Syria, it will not matter what we, or even the whole world, wanted.
The brave Jolanis who stayed in Jolan and refused all Israeli temptations of citizenship and wealthy life are what keep the Jolan Syrian, not our nagging and our Kings’ fictitious liberation attempts-to-be. The Jolani refugees who are still dreaming of going back one day are what keep the Jolan Syrian. And instead of cherishing and respecting them, we are driving them to immigrate to the end of the fucking world.
It is Karfan’s Jolani friend and his little dreams that makes his village our right. Without him and without his dreams, it is just a worthless piece of land subject to be sold to the highest bidder in a game of international relations.

But who care about human beings here? In this miserable part of the world, anything is more important than human life. We die for land, we die for causes, we die for religion, we die for honor, we die for principles, we die for diplomacy, we die for nothing, we die all sort of deaths for all sort of reasons. Two years ago, 15 people killed each others in a village in Latakkia over a cow!! That is how cheap our lives became. That is why we miss the real reason that gives us right to Jolan: the Jolanis and their right of a life with dignity.

If we want the land back to Syria then the only way that would work is by making the Jolanis, and every Syrian, proud of being here, of belonging to Syria, standing high and loving their life on this land.
But instead of that, here is the way that King Lion the 2nd is suggesting: The way of his Guru in Lebanon and his Khomeini Party.
Is this is the way that you are going to liberate our Jolan my King? By dividing us, more than we are divided now, into gangs of Hizb Alaween and Hizb Sunna, and Hizb Druz? And let each one of them be a puppet to Iranians or Saudis or whoever-who sponsors? By letting Israelis killing every single child and every single mother and destroying every single house in return of few kilometers of burned land? By letting them bomb our soul and pride to smithereens and only stop after we had begged the whole world on our knees to convince them to stop? And what if they were as monstrous as they might be and never stop? By exchanging every one Israeli mercenary soldier life for thousands of lives of the people of Syria? By telling us that we won because the Israelis might leave you another 70m of the occupied land after they had bombed us a hundred year back and left us begging and ass-licking Saudis and Iranians and Europeans for few dollars to rebuild some roofs over our heads? Is that your great vision for the mother-land of all civilizations, Syria? Is that your great “Resistance Age”?

Once Fairouz, the great Lebanese singer was too naive to believe the sons of bitches Arab leaders who said that they wanted to liberate lands. She sang saying that the bright anger is coming to Palestine and the Al-Aqssa mosque bells will ring welcoming the Palestinians returning back to their land.
Another all-ages-great Syrian poet, Nizar Al-Kabbani, replied to her in a brilliant poem saying:
I beg your pardon Fairouz, the bright anger will never come
I beg your pardon Fairouz, Al-Aqssa returning bells will never ring
How do we return and returning needs a gun
And the gun needs a palm and the palm needs a finger
And the finger is busy, stuck up the anus of our fucked citizens

Karfan continues:
Did you listen to Nizar’s poem King Lion the 2nd?
I beg your pardon my King, the Resistance Age will never come
I beg your pardon my King, you will never liberate Jolan
For liberation needs an army, and army needs brave men
But we are cowards for we’ve been raised on fear
And we are disgusted for we’ve been brought up on mistrust
Too disgusted to lift a finger, not even in your face
Why don’t you take your fingers out of our anus for two days
Why don’t you go and fight, show us how men should be
And Take the rest of your gang and elite merchants with you
We, will be watching you from here
On a cup of matteh

Your lawful servant


Myth No. 12: We Wear Suits

Karfan reaction yesterday was: “Ali Bin Abi Taleb said once: If poverty was a man I would have killed it. I say: If internet was a woman, I would have kissed it!” We are back in Bekaa valley and everything in a mess: debris of bombing, traffic, food supplies, you name it. The one and only perfectly functioning thing is Internet at Internet cafes!! It is the new God; no harm can fall upon it, not even by the greatest of the great human might. Maybe Internet has a mind of its own. It moves the wires and connects them when they are cut, or maybe it found a way to transfer itself miraculously in the ether.
Karfan soon dispersed this last theory. Obviously Internet still can not transfer itself through the tight air of Syria as our mighty Lord King Lion the Second can find ways of preventing it from seeping into Syria and closing its sites to viewing.
Karfan suggested we should make two hasty pray bows to the might of our Lord King Lion the Second; he, after all was able to control something that even America and Israel could not disturb. What a calamity.
Yes! Our mighty Lord King Lion the 2nd is back and kicking, and we are back ... and kicking.

Since this is our first time outside of Syria in a year (more for Karfan), it is a chance to write some ranting. We are so raised in the culture of fear to the extent that neither I nor Karfan have even looked once to this website from within Syria in the previous year!
Many commentators were concerned. Thanks. The reality is that we have this thing in Syria called Karaf (disgust) that the moment you start something, it looms over your head and then drops heavy on you making you so disgusted to continue anything you started. You start asking your self “What is the purpose?” “What difference is it going to make?” and then you find no answer and just quit. Whether people admit it or not, Karfan never knew in his entire life anyone in this place who did something to the end. The only exception was our beloved King Lion the First who never ever got disgusted from continuing his tyranny over us till the last drop of his blessed sole. But who are we to be as great as the Great Leader? We will get disgusted and we will get bored and we might quit this stupid blogging business altogether, so readers, quit nagging over our heads.
For the other not-nice-commentators: quit arguing over things not related to Syria here. It is taking so much time to delete your stupid comments together with the tons of advertisement spam we found here. We do not give a damn fuck about your religious arguments and we do not give a damp fuck if both America and Bin laden group killed each others to the last drop of blood. And it is not Saudi-fucking-Arabia we are from morons. With all the Syrian retardness, we still Four Thousand years of civilization ahead of those American serving Bedewins.

So many things had happened in the last year that prevented us from writing. For instance, at some point we were too busy “Tenting”. Tenting is one of the newest and greatest contributions of the King Lion Dynasty to the backwardness of this miserable country. We sat in tents defying the International Investigation conspiracy over Syria! Don’t ask me how, but it was interesting with matteh drinking to our hearts content.
Recently we were busy helping Lebanese refugees. King Lion decided that Syria has much abundance of wealth that we should share with our neighboring brothers. So while he and his guru in Lebanon were so happy counting the Israeli tanks they burned and the Israeli flies they downed, the Lebanese were blown to smithereens and the Syrians were fucked trying to help what left of them. We are actually in the Bekaa those two days for the same purpose; delivering some medicines to families here. We offered to participate so that we could have a peek at our blog. Selfish bastards you might think, but we really don’t think Syrian medicine is useful for anything anyhow. So we might as well be doing something useful.

More than a year ago, Karfan decided that we should shut up and stop being unlawful subjects to our giving King. That was exactly after the time-wasting Baath conference last year, when everybody was holding their breath for some big changes, except Karfan of course as you can read in the earlier posts. When King Lion the 2nd gave everyone the finger and changed nothing, not even his ugly choice of neckties he insists on wearing, everyone went mad barking and riding the new fashion in Syria: OPPONENTISM (A Registered Syrian Trade Mark). Being an Opponent or as they like to call themselves sometimes NASHETT (An Activist!!) became a profession like Carpenter and Engineer. Yes really, you ask someone what do you do, and he replies: NASHETT!! They were introduced as such as well at TVs they have no other jobs!
From up and down, from inside and outside, foreign and locals, everyone became a big-shot analyst and started their full-fledged verbal attack on our harmless King Lion the 2nd. Soon-after, the second and foremost biggest Burglar in our history after you know who, the nuclear waste importer, our beloved permanent vice-president found that this new profession of Opponentism sounded better than merely “vice-president”, so he also became one. He did not win much though, no one listened to him so he was obliged to take the post of “vice-opponent” to the leader of Butcher-Brothers of Syria. Just before that, his fellow gang member the Lord of Lebanese Governorate under the rule of the Eternal King Lion the 1st, ended his life with a bullet after a brief attempt, just an attempt, of being an Opponent. You see, in Syria, being a Sunni Opponent; eihhh well,,,: your fucked. Being an Alawie Opponent: you are REALLY fucked. Our merciful Lord expects some of his other subjects to be a bit annoyed of his rule, a bit, not much though. But certainly has no tolerance for ungrateful unthankful Alawie subjects whom his father graced by bringing them from their stinky villages and indulged them into life as semi-human beings under his rule after being treated as non-human beings for decades.
With the big fuckers of the United Crusaders of America barking as well, Karfan felt sorry for our Lord King Lion the 2nd because of all this attack on him, verbal and harmless as it might be. Karfan decided to follow the great wisdom that the Lords and Kings of this area of the world have been telling their people to follow for the past four hundred years: “Taking into consideration this Critical Moment of our History, you should shut the fuck up”. So we did; for a whole year.

But after the stream of the Opponents has gone weak, and our Lord King Lion the 2nd emerged up yesterday declaring our grand victory over the forces of evil of the West and East and their dirty agents, and after all the great poetry with which his lawful subjects interrupted his speech praising his unmatched courage and wisdom in winning the unsurpassed victory, Karfan and I just assumed that this Critical Moment of our miserable history is finally over now and we might then continue our harmless barking.

Of course we are still bewildered over what the hell our King was talking about. But we dare not ask when and how and with-who and over-what was this big battle at which we won a great victory! The late Iraqi King declared victory when his troops were been defeated in the battle, our King has overtopped that. He declared victory in a battle that never even existed, for Syria anyhow. Fuck! That is genius. Long Live King Lion the 2nd.

The real reason for stopping the rant is that Karfan was actually karfan (disgusted) with the word NASHETT, to the extent that every time I wanted to make him go crazy all what I had to do is turn the TV on one of those NASHETTs barking about his unchallenged sacred great opinion. Your chances are guaranteed to find one or two of them at TV channels at any given momen, most of the time barking at each others.
Karfan has another word he calls those people with: AIRI. The direct translation of which is “My Penis”, Might sound weird in English, but it is very meaningful in Syrian Arabic. An AIRI is someone who thinks that he is above everybody else. Maybe that was the perception of Karfan of his penis, but it surely worked well for the description of those people.
The first time Karfan used this word was at a High-school Production Camp; a soviet invention for cheap child-labor by ruining the summer holiday under the name of youth participation in social building. But it worked though: Karfan and I painted walkway rims in black and white that summer, and that was probably the most productive thing that we have ever done to this country.
At the end of the camp, they gathered the youth of several camps for the prime minister to come and ring our ears with a blasting speech. After spending several hours under the burning sun waiting for the holly prime minister to educate us with his boring we-know-all-about speech, most students were at the edge of melting. When the prime minister appeared finally, Karfan looked toward his direction and yelled: “Sharraf Airi!!” (Airi graced us with his presence). Karfan words were onlyheard within a circle of 20 people around him who blasted with laughter. Unfortunately, the trainer was standing within that circle. Karfan was smacked on the neck by the trainer who kept calling him Hayawan Jahesh (Animal, donkey etc..: some civilzed nicknames used by teachers in Syria for their missbehaved students), and was taken immediately to the Security Officer. You’d think he was thrown in jail for years for that; no. He came back after the speech with a pitch red neck laughing at us who were pitch red anyhow after being forced to sit in the sun for an additional two hours listening to the idiot prime minister talking about how great our Lord King Lion the 1st is, something we already know of course.
Karfan explained to the Security Officer that he thought the prime minister is an Airi because he was wearing a suit and a necktie! You see, said Karfan to the Security Officer, we are here in a production camp where everyone is wearing military fatigues and dirty as shit, even our trainers. And here comes our prime minister wearing a clean suit and a clean necktie. That is outrageous and does not go well with our Socialism society (back in the days when this ward might have meant something). The Security Officer was convinced with Karfan’s ranting and made him go after smacking his neck with several slaps.
At that time though, the time of our King Lion the 1st, God bless his soul, it was not a big crime to swear at the prime minister. As long as you do not approach the holly spirit of himself the King, everyone else was equal in being the subject of ridicule by everyone else. Now-a-days, Baby Lion has established a whole gang of Untouchables. You could be in trouble if you say something about his cousin or his brother-in-law or his wife's family, or even the prime minister. The present prime minister had actually put people in prison for criticizing him! Oh, the days of our King Lion the 1st. We lament those days.

Karfan’s theory on why is nothing working in this country is the “Theory of Suit-Wearing Airis”.
You see, Syria may as well win the prize of the worst dressed nation on earth. Have you ever been to the Karajat (Bus terminal) in Aleppo for example, or in Latakia, or even Baramkeh? Have you ever seen the green pantaloons under the grey dishdashe of a Deerelzorian, or the red shirt tucked under yellow pants raised to the chest of a Latakian?
Forget about Damascus and the few educated people who live in nice neighborhoods, who know about Channel and Eve-Fuck-Loran and this worthless shit. Go to Dahadeel, go to Eish Elwarwar, go to Kudsaya el balad, go to the suburb and see what Syria is. Half of the population cannot read and more than that can not write for fuck sake. Go and see the children in Mukhayam and ask how many of them go regularly to school. Have a conversation with some welder in the industrial area in Hama or a loader in the Mina in Tartous. We are simple, we are not much educated, we are not much bright, we are not fashionable, and definitely, definitely, we DO NOT WEAR SUITS AND NECKTIES.
But it is okay; that the way we are; much more simpler people than us were able to build great economies in Asia for example when led the right way.
Our real problem is that every Airi who leads us or is eager to lead us: every general manager of governmental establishment and every government high-shot employee, every minister and the King himself, and now-a-days every anti-government opponent and every Nashett, ever Airi of them wears a suit and a necktie. How the fuck you expect us to follow you when you don’t even wear the same cloth as us, you don’t eat the same food as us, and you treat us like some dump stupid garbage just because you use some fancy jargons shit and different words than us?

At the establishment where Karfan works, an Airi came few weeks ago with a European expert to make a study on enhancing the productivity of the establishment. Of course the Airi who wears a suit and necktie never even bothered to ask the employees their opinions and ideas. Nor of course he even bothered asking the citizens who have direct works with the establishment. He came into the offices looking disgustedly at the people in it, shook his head over the sight of empty tea and matteh cups on the desks (well, the matteh was only at Karfan’s desk) and moved to the next office. It was like the employees were some insects that ruined his apatite for the day. That was exactly the way that the new minister has performed his site-visit to Karfan’s establishment when he took office couple of months ago. The only difference is that the new minister Airi was “smiling disgustingly”, while the expert Airi was “frowning disgustingly” as Karfan describes it. They both, after there very thorough visit in which they risked their suit and necktie catching some dirt from Karfan and fellow employee’s dirty desks, they pinned a Muallakah (great piece of poetry) on how they think the productivity of the establishment should be increased!
Of course both reports were absolute crap. General bullshit that does not have a piece of useful detail since of course the great Airi experts never bothered themselves in knowing the details to begin with. But that is enough to be an Airi here; wear a suit and necktie and speak general bullshit.
Karfan, being the engineer responsible for the air-conditioning in the establishment, has given the experts a very good lesson in Airi management. He ordered his two workers to fuck up the air-conditioning and spent the next week “fixing it”. The only rooms that have air-conditioning in the establishment are the general manager’s and his deputies’, and an extra room that is given usually to the experts or other Airis when they visit. Karfan’s point was to put the experts into a similar situation to the rest of the employees so that maybe they can come up with useful suggestion of "increasing productivity". The European expert could not stand the heat and ran away with the Airi expert to his European organization office. Karfan received a big scolding from the general manager deputy, blamed it on the lack of the sapre parts, and went back to his matteh.

Airi Opponents drum our heads day and night with talks about changing the political system and forcing the regime to democratize the country. No one ever bothered to spend some time in researching the demographical distribution of the population and study a detailed method of actually making voting accessible to all. They talk about reducing state employees without even knowing how many employees there are and without really knowing what are the real work conditions and without giving any detailed solutions, in numbers, on what to do with these employees really. All is something like the American solution for Iraqi: let us disperse the army now and we will think of details later.
In short the message of Airi Opponents is very clear and simple: REMOVE THE REGIME AND PUT ME THERE INSTEAD. And what do they have to compete with the regime or other Nashetts; detailed plans for Damascus traffic: No, detailed plans for economy revival: No, detailed plans for government employees efficiency increase: No, detailed plans of anything: No. Just better suit and neckties, and we, stupid normal Syrians who cannot match their fashion skills should just sit there and choose our next government according to the nicest suit and the loveliest necktie. Fuck that, we are not that stupid you Airi assholes. If that is all what you can come up with, then even this ranting blog offers more patriotism than yours. If that is all what you can come up with, then Long Live King Lion the 2nd and his fictitious victories, at least they are funny.